One of the most distinctive features of Italian cooking is that you don’t really need recipes. You never measure, apart from the occasional pasta weight. The ingredient list is always flexible, depending on what is available and looking good. This is usually an advantage, that makes Italian food so versatile and light, in a way, but it can be sometimes a limitation. Perfection is elusive and hard to repeat, and you often just get it plain wrong. Almost all italian ‘cuochi’ will tell you that the first time they make a dish, it is typically stellar, and when they make it again, it turns out poorly – always when you have guests coming for dinner.
When I am in balance mood, you’d better not come anywhere near. I am always unsatisfied and destructive, even when things are not that bad, when I think about it. I guess it happens when you have too high expectations.
I normally make balances at my birthday, which is why it is always a very bad day for me. This year I could not walk and a balance would have been too much strain for me and for my family. One of the sides of my personality I am grateful for, is that I manage to set aside very negative moods, almost automatically, until I can face them. My automatic switch turned on and decided to cancel my yearly balance at my birthday, but has decided to switch off again now, and I fell into balance mode. Veeery bad.